Figuring things out

I have about a month to go until I leave for Montpellier, France.  Above all I am ecstatic to be afforded this opportunity–especially knowing the wonderful things that past travel experiences have done for me, and also knowing that this experience will change my life in wonderful ways that I can’t begin to imagine.  That said, there are many other emotions to accompany the excitement that I am feeling, which have led me to a considerable amount of reflection and a few bumbling conclusions.

First: Just because it’s great doesn’t mean it’s simple.  There are many things that can be said about being in your twenties as well as studying and living abroad.  Certain schools of thought will inform you that your twenties are single-handedly the best time of your life–you’re young, you’re the best looking you’ll ever be, and you have time to figure things out without any serious commitments.  I must agree in many ways.  That said, I can say with confidence that living in your twenties is by far the most confusing and chaotic time .  Honestly I, alongside my fellow twenty-somethings, are making decisions that will determine the rest of our lives at a time in which we really have no clue where we’re headed.

Much of this applies directly to moving abroad.  I know that living in France, as well as all of the traveling that I will be able to do while abroad, will be one of the best things that I ever do for myself.  I have the opportunity to learn, experience different cultures, and shape who I am and who I want to become.  Not to mention, I will be able to meet so many new people who could have the potential to show things in a brand new light.  Yet, with all of these great things I still have reservations. This is a five month decision that I can’t turn back on–I won’t be going home, and I won’t be able to predict what things will be like.  Plus, due to my nature to plan things out, I can’t wrap my mind around living in a place where I know no one, and where I cannot predict how exactly things will be and where the roads may take me.  No matter how much I research, I won’t be able to plan for the time when I take the wrong train, or get lost somewhere.  I won’t be able to plan for the things that I dislike, or maybe like more than I should.  At the end of the day, it’s exhilarating and amazing but it scares the crap out of me. So, just because it will be great, doesn’t mean that it will be simple or easy.

Take deep breaths. Due to the nature of my decision to move abroad I am completely stressing.  But, after speaking with friends and family I realized that I just need to relax and let things happen.  Of course there are things that I can anticipate and need to plan for, but as for the rest I simply need to, “let the pieces fall where they may.”  I will inevitably miss home, and I will miss my wonderful, supportive, and loving friends and family.  I especially worry about my grandparents as our time is limited and they grow weaker each day–grandmother’s memory, and grandpa’s heart, etc.  But, I have had beautiful relationships with my grandparents and with so many other people in my life thus far.  So, while it may be scary leaving them behind, I need to relax and open myself to the wonderful things that are to come.   Above all, I need to listen to one of my wonderful best friends, Katie, and take five deep breaths to release all of the stress.  Stress won’t get me in any positive direction, but acceptance will–especially when you’re accepting the fate of five months on the French Riviera.  Boo fucking hoo, right?

Be happy, and above all be silly.  We can’t always control what happens in our lives, and we certainly can’t dictate exactly how each situation will turn out.  Yet, we can dictate our happiness.  With deep breathing and a positive out-look I know I can take on anything that comes my way. Plus, since I am going to a place where no one knows my name yet, and where they have little-to-no preconceived notions about who I am or who I should be, I am able to determine who  I am perceived to be.  More importantly, I am able to decide how I want to be for myself.  So, why not be happy and silly so I can give us all something to smile about?

So, here’s to figuring things out: one misstep at a time.

In the spirit of happy and silly

Hello world!

Albert Einstein once said,

“How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people — first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy.”

Moreover, each of us has very little time to find our purpose in life.  This purpose lies in the people and places that are destined to change us and shape who we are meant to be.  I intend to discover and explore as many of these people and places as possible by means of travel.  So, I plan on using this blog as a tool to compile my experiences abroad and share them with friends and family.

In addition to entries about my adventures, I will be posting various writings and personal reflections.  Enjoy!